Everyone in my life does it for themselves

[Eddie Scott Yazzie]

God told me I was going to die at the age of forty-eight, my birthday is in three days, all I can think about is how alone I feel right now.

God told me to study people fourteen years ago, from the heart, all I have encountered is selfishness. People who do things for self gain, greed, and not one person has been truly honest with me. I honestly fell like I am living in hell, it used to be a good place, at times it feels like heaven, but only when I see things made by God, all things made by man appear to be evil or bad for the human being.

Few people have even smiled at me or acknowledged me as a person, it had nothing to do with the color of my skin, if fact, those were people who were either going through the same things as me or even worst. I felt and know their pain.

Today, I will start thinking about what kind of casket I want to be buried in, probably wood, it's natural and my body will be absorbed back into the Earth a lot faster.

My wish is to be put up on a hill, the way they did the old chiefs, burned and let the smoke rise into the air and my ashes to be spread all over the Earth.

It is true. You can not buy friends, you can not buy happiness and you surely can not buy love!

TRUTH!

My spirit is weak, my heart is broken and my will to live a long life is no longer in my vision.