Being Happy

[Kelly J Bawden]

Being happy seems like it should be the easiest thing to experience but shockingly enough it is not. Why is being happy so hard? So many times happiness is something that is sought after. It is a destination and arriving at this destination means that we can now be happy. What happens when we never arrive at the destination that is going to create this happiness? We have a picture in our head of what life would look like if we were happy. So being happy will come when I get to travel, or get married, etc.
It may look like this: traveling to exotic destinations whenever I want, I have extra money and never have to worry about bills, my kids are getting good grades, playing sports or in the school plays, my partner is attentive and loving, if I want something I can just go and get it, I have a nice home, clothes, car, and all the toys my family could possibly want. This vision of happiness becomes the destination and until I have this lifestyle I will never be happy will I?
If happiness is dependent on the lifestyle you are after it will always be beyond your reach. So many times happiness becomes the condition of a lifestyle. Happiness happens because of the vacation, new car, new love, or something that is happening in your life that is external. It is not an overall general feeling.
Certain things can increase happiness but going on vacation or getting that new car will not sustain happiness. Eventually the new car is not new anymore and the vacation is over and then the happiness felt by these events diminishes. So how can someone be generally happy or have an overall feeling of happiness in their life without having to buy something or go somewhere to obtain it?
One way to obtain overall happiness is being present in your life. What this means is; if going to the grocery store is boring and mundane, then do something to interact. Talking to the clerk or another customer in line can help to become more present. Now, I don’t mean complaining to other customers about the slow check- out line you are in, I mean just talking, asking a question, noticing something or giving someone a compliment. This will change your experience and you could walk out of the store with a smile and possibly have given someone else a reason to smile too.
Something else you can do to be happy is doing something nice for someone else. Service to others will ultimately help you increase your sense of self and increase your internal happiness.
One more way to create overall happiness is to get out and move. Getting your body in motion will clear your head, increase the endorphin s which will increase happiness. A stagnant body will become withdrawn which decreases happiness. Getting out in the sun and walking, going to the park, riding a bike, doing something to change the mundane will increase overall happiness.
Happiness is not the destination. Happiness is one of the primary emotions that comes and goes. It is possible to become happier in your life if you are willing to do the things that increase overall happiness. Going on vacation and getting a new car will bring happiness but it is short lived. Overall happiness comes from the inside and how you live your life regardless of the circumstances of your life.